. They are truly...
October 2nd, 2009
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It has often been said that male cats are more affectionate than females. Thinking back on the cats in my life, that has certainly been the case for me, but I’m sure there are many cat owners who would disagree.
We do know that spaying and neutering cats makes them calmer and more affectionate, in addition to offering many health benefits. If your cat, male or female, isn’t as cuddly as you’d like, consider these points which may make her more open for a hug: 1) Don’t force your affection on your cat. Chasing her and putting her in a headlock to pet her will only distance her. 2) Respect her space. Don’t crowd her on the bed or insist on carrying her around. 3) Be quiet and calm around your cat. They pick up on emotions. 4) Don’t tease your cat. They have very refined souls and know how to hold a grudge. Kelly is a dog columnist and pet writer. She lives in the Boston-area with her three pit bulls and one neurotic cat. |
Of my two cats, Matthew is the most loving. Mrs. Beasley is very stand offish unless she wants something. I have owned many cats and I have to agree the males are the most loving.
This article’s title is very misleading. It doesn’t tell you how to have an affectionate cat… it simply gives you pointers on not pissing your cat off. Very disappointing read… much like the other day’s article on different ways to pet your.. well, pet your pet. :::::yawn::::::
My cat is a female and she is very affectionate! And she is spayed.
Kelly’s article is true. I rarely pick him up. If he wants attention, he talks, jumps up next to me and uses a head butt greeting. If he want to lie down, he jumps up on my chair and waits to have the recliner put down. If I ask him “Do you want to go out” he runs to the back door, Do you want to go sleepy, He follows you to the bedroom and jumps on the bed. He usually follows me all around the house. This is a highly intelligent cat that is smarter than a dog.
Our 2 Male Tabby’s (brothers), I’ve found they BECOME more loving if I’m nonchalant, so much so that I throughly enjoy it !
Just love their company & them snoozing around/nearby… & me calling them my children – all makes sense !
about teasing your cat(s), in have three, i have to say through my experience, you can tease them , but expect to get teased back. do not nkow if all cats are like this but mine have a great sense of humour, and will always get me back for whatever i choose to do. i can count on it . like you you say, they have long memories.
do not agrre with the spaying and neutering part though, forgot to mention , 1 male , 2 females. male neutered, females not, all very affectionate, one of my females even more so than the male, and she also listens like ,to a very large degree
a dog, but they all do
agree with philip…i tease my cats, too. but yes, be prepared for revenge, they do hold grudges. but i consider my cats to be my friends, and i tease my friends, so…it’s all a part of intimacy and bonding. kaya has pretty water-resistant fur, so while i’m drinking water i like to occasionally pour a tiny amount of water on her flank if she’s lying nearby-as she typically is. i love the way it beads up. ((-: it never actually reaches her skin, and she seems to barely notice it. my brother says that i am slowly water-torturing my cat over the course of her lifetime. when i told him she didn’t seem to mind, he said that was because she was going insance so very slowly that she didn’t even know it. ((-:
however, the other night after i’d been having a little fun with water and fur kaya suddenly got up and walked across my keyboard-something which at almost 2 she had pretty much stopped-turning off the computer in the process. then she sat her fluffy butt down on the table by the couch and blinked at me…
I agree male cats are more affectionate. However i have only had one girl and I got her at a one year old.She is now 6 and lets me pick her up sometimes. The best thing is last week she actually purred when I picked her up and then freaked out as if she thought she had been very bad. I think dont think she will ever lounge all over me like my boy but every tiny bit she gives me is as precious.
I have five cats, Twink came to me at the age of 5 weeks and he was wild! It took a bit of time and a lot of caring before I could reach out and touch him, I spoiled him with baby food meat and treats. He came around andnow he is a huge black tom cat that has been fixed. He loves to rub your legs, get in your way and just to be held.
My theory is that dogs need people and people need cats.
Mine are Mooch age 17, Ratbag age 8, Minnie Pearl age 7, Twink age 2 & 1/2 then Mitzie Endorphan, 11 months. They are my constant. I love them with no holdbacks.
Dianne Nelson, Alaska
What great info! Thanks!
Phyllis – I love Mrs. Beasley’s name.
Roo – I’m sorry you’re not enjoying the recent tips.
Russ, etc. – Cats vocalize with more than 100 different sounds while dogs only have 10. I should do a piece proving cats are smarter than dogs.
So, funny about the kitties getting revenge! I tease my cat, too, was just trying to be academic about it.
Re: the neutering – I believe it makes more of a difference in male cats.
Thanks again everyone.
- Kelly
I’ve always found that males are more affectionate than females. Ashley isn’t very affectionate but it does help to “ignore” her and let her come to me. Turns out Ashley doesn’t like when the tables are turned and she is the one being ignored. LOL!
My Female cat Magic, who passed away 3 years ago at the age of 13 was spayed and very affectionate. She was a 20 LB tank of a kitty but loved to lounge all over me and “make cookies” or just curl up and purr and be scratched. She slept in my bed at night and usually moved far enough over to try to nudge my fiance out as she didn’t like sharing me…..When she wasn’t sleeping with me, she was sleeping with me, she was sleeping with my young daughter who she had watched over and “protected” since my daughter was an infant…LOL! heaven forbid anyone that was not family went near her while she was sleeping!
Our new Addition, Sammie, is now 5 1/2 months old, female, not spayed yet, but also very affectionate, and has been from day one! Perhaps because she was the runt of the litter….She has always been very “vocal” and will loudly make it known when she is feeling neglected or in need of affection, especially if we have gone out for the day. We come home and she will come running around the corner of the living room meowing very loudly at us and getting under our feet and jumping around until someone stops to sit and give her love! She then climbs into that persons lap for some much welcomed love and scratching, with her purring all the while. She also loves to do this strange head butting thing to us where she will come over and get in our faces and head butt us and let us know she wants to be petted, scratched, held and worshiped….and when my fiance gets up for work in the mornings, she gets up with him and he can’t start his day without giving Sammie love before he leaves….She plunks herself in his lap and will not move until he talks to her and scratches and pets her until she is happy. I am hoping that spaying her doesn’t change her personality, though I don’t think so. I have only had one male cat in my lifetime and that really did not work out well…He was not very affectionate and he would poop on my pillow after a trip to the vets! (like it was all my fault!!) So my vote is on females being the more affectionate of the species….sorry!
Dawn:
It’s always interesting to hear the other side. Thanks!
- Kelly
I can not agree or disagree with that. You see I have 11 cats ranging from around 10 or 11 to 5 months in age. In my house we’ve had more than 50 cats come and go. The most we’ve ever had at one time was 27. Currently we only have 3 inside/outside cats. The rest are only inside. We also have a German Shepherd named Sergeant Major who was rescued the day he was to be euthanized.
I believe that cats are more or less affectionate depending on their living arrangement. How many other cats are in the house, is there a dog in the house, how many females, how many males, are they fixed or not.. etc.
We have 8 females and 3 males. They are all very affectionate at their own convenience. The majority of the cats cling to everyone at different times. While a few cling to one individual the most. Like my cats Tornado, Mystique (Mist for short) and Tinker. They mostly cling to me. But they also like to love up to others as well.
Our males though are very affectionate when they want to be. Cotton, Bubba and Junior all 3 love attention just as our females do. Bubba mostly gets attention from my mom. While Cotton will take attention from anyone! Junior is more shy though and he loves up to my dad more.
Big Ears, Tizzy, Precious, Sophie, Rudy, Tornado, Tinker and Mystique (our females) all love attention as well though. The older ones are more laid back though and don’t demand as much attention. Big Ears and Precious are the two oldest. Followed by Tizzy, however she has her certain days or times when she will DEMAND attention. She will go out of her way to get it no matter what. Sophie is another shy one who sucks up to my father. Rudy is around 5 months old. She demands attention from everyone. She will force you to pet her by rubbing her head on your hand or your leg until she gets some lovin. Tinker is shy, she very rarely wants attention but when she does she will let you know! Tornado and Mystique are both always wanting attention! They can’t get enough!
So my vote is BOTH! In my house both genders are equally affectionate.
we have two male cats, Yoshi and Kobi and Kobi is very affectionate he wants you to pick him up all the time he will strech out his paws like a child puts up there hands to be picked up, he makes it a lilttle difficult to work sometimes when you put him down he jumps back up in your lap and likes to also be held on your shoulder, Yoshi on the other hand will let you know when he wants some loving and when he does he will do the head butting thing too. As I’m typing this Kobi is on my lap helping me type with his paws and head on my tpying hand (LOL)